I'm not dead. Yet.

Today, I had a experience which was the first time in many years, in which I realize: I'm not yet dead.

And that's an incredibly sad thing.

I'm gonna start using the f word a lot from now on. Close the fucking page if you don't like it.

I just realized that I'm not not yet fucking dead. And that's fucking annoying. Cause I can't be living in any practical sense.

I remember some one I respect told me: Get lost. Go fuck yourself. You're done. Ok, maybe not literally so, but that's what I understand.

And I think that's true. I fact, I think that's kinda cool.

It's not. I'm referring to the "cool" part, not the "true" part.

The options are simple: either I stopping sucking now, or I continue to suck, and suck even more. The choice is not that hard, right?

When I see their eyes, I see fuckness. I see "ok, that's it". I see "I'm sorry". And I'm really fucking sorry now.

I should just shut the fuck up, turn around, and walk away. That's the polite thing to do. And I'm doing that.

Die. Or live. Don't get stuck in between.

To everyone who thinks that himself/herself is miserable: You are.

Don't bring that up. Just don't. Give me a fucking break.